Malfoy Is Well, Malfoy
by Charmed88
Summary: It's Harry's 7th year, but something isn't right...with Malfoy, that is. Why is he acting so strange? After the events of the Start of Term Feast, Harry starts this journal to help sort out his thoughts. Please read and review! WARNING: slash!
1. Start of Term Feast and First Day Back

Hey everyone!! I've been in a Draco/Harry mood lately so I decided to try my hand at writing one! Please enjoy and review to tell me what you think!!

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--This journal is the private property of Harry Potter…so stay out of it!

Sept. 1

The strangest thing happened today…I was sitting at the Gryffindor table during the Start of Term feast, when I got the feeling that someone was staring at me. I looked around and found a pair of Silver-Grey eyes staring back at me. We held the gaze for a few seconds when I found myself thinking: _Wow, I never realized just how beautiful Malfoy's eyes are…They look like molten Silver. _Where did that come from?! I nearly fell out of my seat when I realized _who _it was that I was thinking about. Hermione and Ron just stared at me and asked me if I was ok. I managed to sputter out some sort of reply. They seemed to think it acceptable and went back to their conversation about Ron and his studying methods, or lack of. I was momentarily distracted from returning to my thoughts when I realized that they had only been going out for a month and Hermione was already bugging him about school. I looked back towards the Slytherin table and found that he was still staring at me, now with a sneer on his face over my incident. At first my anger started to rise, but then something happened that had never happened before…I think Malfoy not-so-sneered at me! Yeah, I guess in Malfoy language that could be an almost smile! What the hell is going on? Humph, maybe I just imagined it all…maybe I ate a bit too much…maybe—I don't know. At the moment I need to get to sleep other wise I'm going to be half dead tomorrow. 

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Sept. 2 

Well, that's it…I think I'm officially crazy. Well that, or someone's spiking my drink. Hmmm…maybe I should check into the possibilities of that. Anyways, I will explain myself. Today was the first day of classes. I went down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione, just like everyday of the last six years, and we sat down to look at our schedules. Well, being the lucky person that I am (can you sense the sarcasm?), I have NEWT level potions first thing this morning. My only saving grace is that Hermione will be in there with me (Ron isn't in NEWT level potions). Well, we arrive in the class to find that we are the only seventh year Gryffindors. And, to our horror, there are only six people from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff _combined_! The rest of the class consists of Slytherins (big surprise there, huh?). Ugggh, I moaned to Hermione as we sat down. Our conversation didn't get any further however because Snape walked into the room.

"Well, to my great surprise, some of you actually managed to get into NEWT level potions. Let me give you a fair warning: This class is not for people wishing to be in here only to show off and get ego-inflating praise," he said while pointedly glaring at me! "This is a very difficult class that I sincerely doubt the majority of you will pass. So, if you are not entirely here to heighten your potions skills, then I suggest you leave now." 

He looked quite disappointed when I didn't jump out of my seat and run out of the room, but…too bad for him! He sneered down at me and said, 

"Ah, Mr. Potter, I see you managed to get into this class, How unfortunate."

Ugggh, he makes me so mad! I wish I could just knock that sneer off of his slimy face, but instead I sat there and tried to act as if he wasn't even annoying me…which takes a lot of mental power. He eventually moved on.

"Well, in the spirit of a little inter-house cooperation, I'm going to assign you partners from another house. Now, they will be your partners for the rest of the year. Let's see…

Granger and Parkinson, 

Potter and -- Malfoy,

Brocklehurst and Bulstrode,

Boot and Zambini,

Abbott and MacDougal,

Flinch-Fletchley and Nott,

Bones and Crabbe,

Turpin and Goyle,

And, since there are only two Slytherins left, Moon and Tryst

Now, break up in to your pairs and take a seat at a table."

Harry reluctantly left Hermione's side and went to sit beside Malfoy because, as Malfoy put it, There was no way in hell he was going to move for Potter. When he sat down Malfoy had his usual sneer on his face. I could tell he was about to spit out some insult, but Snape started talking again.

"Now you are going to be making the Draught of Living Death today. The instructions are on the board, get started," he yelled before taking a seat behind his desk and beginning to do whatever it is he does at his desk.

"Well, Potter, what are you waiting for? Go get the ingredients."

Ohhh, I just want to pummel him, but instead I obediently went and got the ingredients. I definitely didn't need to lose points on the first day back. So I dumped the ingredients down beside _our_ cauldron and plopped in my seat. _Well, at least now he won't sabotage all my potions!_

"Well, I guess this would go quicker if we assigned tasks. So, you chop and prepare all the ingredients and I will prepare the potion," Malfoy said as he lit the flame under the cauldron.

"Alright."

Well, the class was actually going ok (I guess Malfoy didn't want to ruin his grade just because he got into a fight with me). But, by the second half of the class I was getting a little annoyed. Each time Malfoy would reach to get an ingredient or something he would brush my arm or hand with his. It was very distracting and I finally snapped.

"Malfoy, would you stop touching me?!"

"I am _not_ touching you, Potter," he replied while smirking at me.

I was about to argue, but we were close to finishing the potion and I just wanted to get it done. But, then it started again, and it was more frequent. I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Will you _stop_ it," I yelled exasperatedly.

"Stop _what_, Potter."

"Touching me….See, you just did it again."

"I am not touching you. I knew you were off your rocker, but I didn't know you were hallucinating too."

I just stared at him with , my mouth soundlessly opening and shutting. Hmmm…maybe I was hallucinating. It didn't happen anymore after I yelled at Malfoy…What's going on? I'm so confused….I need to lie down or something.

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After Dinner

Well, I went to see Madam Pomfrey after classes about the possibilities of me hallucinating and she said I was fine. So that narrows it down to someone spiking my drink or Malfoy acting strange and of his own free will. I prefer to think that someone is spiking my drink because the thought of Malfoy being less…Malfoyish is just too much to bear. But, what if it's true. I mean there was the way he was acting at dinner…Allow me to re-write the events of dinner for you. At first it went just as it always did: The three of us would come in and go sit at the Gryffindor table. We listened to Dumbledore and then the food appeared. Ron used his usual amount of table manners, which would be none at all. Hermione lectured him about it _again_….Everything was going great. But then, about half way through dinner, I got the feeling that I was being watched again. I quickly scanned the Great Hall and found the same Silver-Grey eyes staring at me. I looked at Malfoy's face and was shocked. I don't think I've ever seen that expression on his face before. He was staring right at me with this sort of dreamy look on his face…I don't think he even knew that I was staring back at him because his eyes looked out of focus. I thought, _Malfoy…day dreaming…is it possible? What could he possibly want that he doesn't have? He's always bragging about how his Father buys him anything he wants. So why does he look like that? Why is he looking at **me** like that?_ I could have gone on with the questions, but Ron tapped me on the shoulder.

"Are you alright mate? You had this really strange look on your face."

"What? Oh, yeah…I'm fine. Really," he said as they looked at him skeptically before going back to their conversation. 

When I looked back over at the Slytherin table Malfoy was gone. _Well, since I'm obviously not in the mood to eat and Malfoy's not here to stare at….NOT that I want to stare at him…I might as well go to the common room. _

"Hey, I'm not really all that hungry. You guys go ahead and finish eating and I'll meet you back in the common room," I told them as I got up from the table.

"Alright mate…are you sure you don't want us to come with you?"

But, I didn't answer. I just walked out of the Hall and into the Entrance Hall. I shut the doors behind me and leaned my back against them. I didn't even hear the person come up to me. When I opened my eyes Malfoy was standing about two feet in front of me sneering.

"What? Did you get tired of your little friends, Potter? Though I could see how it would be easy to do so."

"Shove off, Malfoy. Why don't you go find some unsuspecting First year to torture and traumatize?"

"Oh, you think your so amazing…The Fucking Boy Who Lived. Well, there's a lot you don't know, Potter, and you probably never will."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Malfoy?"

"You think you know everything. The truth is that you're too blind to see what's right in front of your face. Why don't you try looking around you once in awhile? You might be surprised at what you find," he said before walking off towards Dungeons and leaving me there completely astounded.

That was the closest thing to a conversation we had ever had! What did he mean I'm blind? I bet I see a lot more than he does. At least I'm not some slimy git who lives to torture people and make little kids cry! Humph...me blind!

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Authors Notes:

Thanks for reading everyone!! I'm really excited about this story…I think it's going to turn out good! Please, Please review and tell me what you thought. I would really appreciate it if you would refrain from flaming me…there's no point in it! So…what are you waiting for?? Review! 


	2. Troubling Thoughts

Hey Everyone! Another chapter for you! Though, I must say I was less than pleased with the turn-out on the last chapter…I only got 3 reviews, which means 3 people reading the story L Oh well, three is better than none! At least all the reviews were good! Please continue to read it! I greatly appreciate all reviews I get…well, except for flames. Those can just burn themselves into oblivion! Anyway, on with the chapter!

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Sept. 9 ~ In the Morning

Well, I've been back at school for a full seven days now. Everything seems to be back to normal with Malfoy except for one thing…I haven't been able to get him out of my head. Why? I don't know. Gods…not only do I have to put up with him in person, now he's in my bloody head as well! Ugh, it's driving me crazy! Why am I thinking about _him_ in the first place? It must be that I've grown to hate him so much that now he's permanently stuck in my head. _Mmmm…but he has such soft looking lips and beautiful eyes and…_Damn it, I'm doing it again! I don't know what is going on with me lately…I think Malfoy might have gotten sick and given it to me. First he was acting all weird towards me and now I can't get him out of my head. Oh, you don't even want to know about the dreams I've been having lately. Let's just say that they involve Malfoy in…er…certain situations…with me. Yeah, well, I'd rather not think about those…_No matter how delicious they are…_Damn it! I'm really scaring myself! How can I even think about Malfoy in _that_ way? How…how…Oh, I don't know! With the way things have been going for me the past week it's lucky that I haven't had to be near Malfoy. But, today's Tuesday again, which means that I have Potions :gulp: which means that I have to…have to sit next to _him._ That can't possibly help my…thoughts. Oh! Ron's waking up…

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In The Afternoon: After Classes

Well, I made it through Potions in one piece. But, I was right, being that close to _him_ definitely didn't help my thoughts. I seriously think I might be losing my mind. How else could I be thinking of Malfoy like _that_? There's just no explaining it…unless someone's sneaking a potion into my drink, but that's not possible. Mad-Eye taught me a fairly simple spell that can be used to reveal any unwanted potions that have been put in your drink. You simply point your wand at the potion and say 'ostendo venenum'. This is mainly used to detect poisons, but it will also detect other potions and substances that should not be in there. So it's pretty doubtful that someone slipped a potion into my drink without me knowing about it. Well, I may not know what's causing it, but there is definitely something going on with me and Malfoy. Allow me to tell you about Potions today…

It started out like any other normal Potions class; I come in, Malfoy insults me, I retaliate, Malfoy sneers at me, you know, the usual. Except this time when Malfoy sneered at me my stomach _fluttered_! And I found myself thinking: _Hmmm…I love the way his lip curls when he sneers at me._ 'I love the way his lip curls when he sneers at me?! Where the hell did that come from? Instead of being angry about the insult I was thinking about his lips…again! Bloody Hell! So, trying to ignore his lips, I sat down next to him only to find that I now saw his hands. _Wow, his hands are so slender, yet strong. Oh, I remember how it feels to have them come in contact with my skin…_ Yeah, I know how that feels all right, except generally they only come into contact with my skin when he throws a punch at me. Luckily at that moment Snape came in and distracted me from finding something else of Malfoy's to appraise. 

"I must say that I expected better from my NEWT level class…Out of last weeks assignment, only three pairs managed to successfully make the Draught of Living Death: Potter and Malfoy, Granger and Parkinson, and Moon and Tryst. The rest of you need to seriously reconsider your spot in this class, as the work will only get harder. Now, today you will be making Veritaserum. I trust you all know what that is. Instructions are on the board, GET STARTED," he shouted while once again sitting at his desk (he does this every class period). 

"Well, Potter. Go get the ingredients," Malfoy ordered.

"Fine…I'm going," I grumbled as I got up to go to the storage cupboard.

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If only he wasn't so damn mean! Gods, would it hurt him to get off his lazy arse and get the ingredients once in awhile? The least he could do is ask me to get the ingredients instead of ordering me around like I'm his slave. Oh…I'd like to be his love slave! Damn it! Stop! Well, it was in this somewhat distracted state that I got the ingredients and returned to my seat.

"POTTER!"

"What?! Why are you shouting at me?"

"Well, I've already said your name several times to no avail. What did you want me to do? I was not about to let you daydream while I sit here and do all the work. Now, I was trying to say that we'd do the same thing we did last week. You prepare the ingredients and I will prepare the potion."

"Fine, just hand me the knife and chopping board."

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Ugh! Potter, do this. Potter, do that. Nag, nag, nag. Gods, I really truly despise him…and Snape for pairing us together. Oh, if only he wasn't so damn good looking! Why? Why must I be cursed with these eyes that allow me to look at him? Why am I cursed with these damn thoughts? And then it started again…the touching. But this time it didn't annoy me, In fact I basked in the feel of his hand touching mine. Then I chanced a look at him. I really don't know how he manages to look so calm, like nothing's going on. Well, I don't feel like nothing's going on. Just being this close to him makes my breathing kick up a notch. He's so handsome…_Ugh! How can this not bother me? Last week I was ready to throw him to the floor and pummel him, but not this week. Don't get me wrong…Oh, I still want to throw him to the floor, but not to pummel him. No, I want to snog him senseless! That's what I really want to do…throw him to the ground and snog him senseless. Mmmmm…NO, NO, NO! Stop it! Ugh, I really should not be thinking about this…this is wrong on so many levels._ That's when I realized that Malfoy had stopped what he was doing and was now looking at me.

"What are you looking at," I snapped.

"Nothing…" he said seeming a little dazed.

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Hmmm…I wonder if he was thinking about me…No that's not possible. Malfoy thinking about me in that _way! HaHa…That's rich. Hell will freeze over when that happens, Pigs will fly, the world will end. But…that would explain the weird looks and the touching me and denying it… _Well, even in my preoccupied state we finished the potion and we were pretty confident that we had done it correctly. Malfoy labeled it with our names and handed it in to Professor Snape. We were actually the last ones to finish so the bell rang right as I was done packing up my things.

"Well, you -er- did a good job today. I have to admit that you are good in potions," I told Malfoy as I was walking away from the table.

"Er--thanks. You too," he replied looking bewildered.

Yes, you read right. Malfoy said Thanks! Did the world end and I wasn't aware of it? Did a pig fly by the window? No…Malfoy said thanks of his own accord…and I complemented him! Well, Ron and me are off to do a little flying before dinner. 

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After Dinner

Gods…I don't know what just happened. Allow me to explain what went on during dinner.

I came in and sat down at the table. Ron and Hermione were already there because they had gone to the library before dinner while I stayed out on the pitch to do some more flying. Well, more like Hermione dragged Ron off to the library while he was grumbling about wanting to fly some more, but, on with the story… So I sat down just as the food appeared and shoveled some food on to my plate. For some reason all this thinking about Malfoy has made me quite hungry. So I started eating and looked up to see Hermione staring at me.

"What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Harry…is there something going on with you?"

"Um…no…Why," I replied. I was worried that she had seen me looking at Malfoy or heard me compliment him, or something of the sort.

"Well, usually it's only Ron who eats enough food to feed an entire army of First years," she said while looking at Ron to see him shoveling food into his mouth. 

"Oh! All the flying made me hungry," I replied relieved.

"Humph…Wish all the flying had made me hungry. Oh, wait, I didn't get to do a lot of flying because someone dragged me off to the library," Ron grumbled.

"Oh! Will you stop going on about that? Would you rather have gone flying with Harry and failed potions?"

"Well, yes I would have," Ron replied.

"Well, next time you can do your homework by yourself and without me there to help you if your so keen on flying," Hermione replied.

"Fine, I will," Ron replied huffily.

Let's just say that it's safe for you to assume that she didn't talk to him for the rest of dinner. But, I didn't really notice this because I was once again caught up in my thoughts of a certain Slytherin. I chanced a look at him during dinner and he was looking right at me too… _Hmmm, Maybe he really does feel the same way about me. Oh, Gods. I think I might **like** Malfoy! Malfoy! Bloody Hell…Out of everyone in the whole school, Why do I have to like him? Why?_ After I finished me little self-pity trip there I realized that me and Malfoy were still staring at each other. I quickly looked away, but not before I blushed. I really hope he didn't see that…or anyone else for that matter. Well, now I was definitely not hungry anymore. The thought of what Ron would say if I told him I liked Malfoy in _that_ way made me completely lose any appetite that I had. _What is Ron going to say when he finds out about this? Wait…what's there for him to find out about? There's not anything going on between me and Malfoy. Well…yet. And there never will be! There's no way Malfoy could possibly ever, ever, ever, like me at all, in any way whatsoever. But…Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he keep brushing my arm and hands in Potions? Why did he say thanks? Why is he acting so strange lately?_ I knew he was still looking at me and I tried, with no avail, to keep myself from blushing.

"Harry!"

"Oh…er…Yeah Hermione?"

"Well, nice to see you actually answered me this time! I've been calling your name forever.

"Oh…sorry," I replied while once again blushing.

"Harry, are you sure you're alright? You look flushed and you seem out of it."

"I'm ok, Hermione."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."'

"You know…I think I will. I have been feeling a little strange lately."

So I got up from the table and left. _Gods, anything to get away from the Great Hall. If I didn't leave then I think I might have blushed so much someone was bound to notice and figure out _why_ I had been blushing so much._

"Well, well, well…if it isn't Potter. Where's Weasley and Granger? Did you get tired of them again," a familiar voice sneered.

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Oh no….this is the last person I wanted to be near right now…let alone be alone with. 

"No Malfoy, I just didn't feel like staying in the Great Hall."

"No? Is your little Fan Club too much too handle?"

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Ohhhh…if he doesn't be careful he won't know what hit him. He's strangely close to being shoved against the wall and severely snogged.

"Just sod off, Malfoy!"

"Oh, and what if I don't? What are you going to do," he taunted.

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Too late…

"This…" I replied while taking a step towards him.

I quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him up against the wall. Before he even had time to protest I was tilting my head downwards and my lips were on his. To my great surprise, he didn't pull away. Instead he brought his arms up around my neck and deepened the kiss! I countered this with removing my hands from his shoulders and letting them find their way around his waist.

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Ohhhh…this is so perfect. Why didn't I do this sooner? Even if I did hate him I shouldn't have been that_ blind! Mmmmm…_

It was at that moment that Malfoy's tongue was at my lips, begging to enter. I open up my lips and from that moment on I couldn't think…all I could do was feel. What I felt was definitely good. I let out a small moan in protest when Malfoy began to pull away and break off the kiss. He just looked down and smiled at me…he **smiled**! I have never seen Malfoy truly smile before! He should do it more often…

"Potter, you do realize that we are in the middle of the Entrance Hall," he replied breathlessly. 

"Yeah…So," I replied equally breathless and extremely annoyed that he ended the kiss to talk about being in the hallway.

"We're in the _Entrance Hall_…It's almost time for dinner to end and the whole school will be coming through those doors to be treated to the sight of the Gryffindor Golden Boy and a Slytherin, who just happens to be a Malfoy, kissing."

"Ugh! Well, I guess we'd better go to our separate common rooms before the whole school actually does come through those doors."

"Yeah, but we can meet up later. Meet me in the Astronomy Tower at midnight without your little Fan Club," Malfoy said.

"Alright, but this better not be another one of your little traps, or else…"

"Or else what," he sneered.

"I'll never snog you again! And don't try to tell me that you wouldn't care if I ever snogged you again because I can tell you liked it," I replied smiling at him.

"Alright, just be there. And one more thing before you go…"

"Yeah?"

"This…" he replied, leaning forward to kiss me one last time before turning around and walking off towards his Common Room.

:Sigh: And that is how I came to be here, writing those amazing events. I can't believe that I kissed Malfoy! I know what you're thinking…'Ugh'. But it was so good….I can't even put in to words how good it was. He's an amazing kisser. Well, I believe I going to do some homework while I wait for midnight to roll around…

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